


greatness of the world in tears

by 100demons



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Backstory, Gen, Pre-Canon, Sailor Moon Crystal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 13:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2069991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100demons/pseuds/100demons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“But <i>why</i>,” Rei whispers, feeling as if the fire is devouring her alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	greatness of the world in tears

A girl arose that had red mournful lips  
And seemed the greatness of the world in tears,  
Doomed like Odysseus and the labouring ships  
And proud as Priam murdered with his peers;

 _The Sorrow of Love_  
William Butler Yeats

 

* * *

 

 

Even the candles for dinner have been taken away, replaced by a vase of lilies. Father says nothing about the change, only eats his dinner with small, exacting bites, and speaks to Rei once, an absent aside in between the instructions he dictates to his secretary: “sit up straight.”

Rei immediately straightens her shoulders, but he never looks up from his plate.

By the time the tea has been brought out, Rei is slumped so far over the table that the tail end of her neatly plaited hair nearly grazes the surface. Matsuko-san, outraged, gives her a cold look, but says nothing in front of Father.

Her breath fogs up the thick glass tabletop, clouds of warmth waxing and waning with the rise and fall of her chest.

There is no point in taking away the candles; the fire is deep inside her, flickering inside the hollow beat of her heart. She carries it always and Matsuko-san can no more take it away from her than she can take away the air that Rei breathes.

“Ahem.”

Rei jerks her head up and Matsuko-san gives her a meaningful look, inclining her head towards the end of the table.

Father is slowly rising, loosening the tie at his neck and murmuring softly to Kenichi-kun, a brandy snifter already in hand.

It is easy, to slide out of her chair and bow, eyes never quite meeting his. Routine carries her through, arms and legs and back curving in graceful, practiced motions.

“Good night,” she says and watches his feet slowly slip away into the darkness beyond.

 

* * *

 

After the second incident, Rei is quietly removed from school and sent home in the backseat of Father’s car. She sits alone, fingers splayed wide on the lush leather seat. If she closes her eyes and breathes very quietly, she can hear a little of what the adults are saying in the front.

“You could see the mark of her hand on his arm-- the burn matched exactly, like her touch branded him,” Matsuko-san says, her normally chilly voice now arctic.

“A trick of the eye or something,” Takahiro says. Rei can almost see the tight smile on his face, the deep lines etched between his brow.

“This is no trick,” Matsuko-san hisses. “Once, I might dismiss it as a child’s imagination. But twice? And with her track record--!”

“Rei-chan hasn’t quite been the same since her mother died. She took it very hard but I’m sure she’ll get over it soon enough.”

Mumbled words, then static as one of the adults fiddles with the radio dial, zipping through stations.

“...the wax was dripping all over her hands and not even a flinch! She’d been staring in the flame for hours, judging from how much of it had melted in her hands. Just last week, I was going through her schoolbag and found a box of matches. Matches!”

“...does _he_ know?”

A long pause, then: “He receives weekly reports, and I did have to request his permission to escort her home today. But he never says a word and his secretary handles nearly all the paperwork and the expenditures.”

“You mustn’t let this get out, whether it’s real or not,” Takahiro says, grave. “God only knows what will happen to his reputation-- if the press gets any word of Minister Hino’s mad daughter--”

Rei clenches her fists tight, fingernails digging stark crescent moons into her pale flesh.

“She will be the ruin of him,” Matusko-san says and the ice in her voice freezes Rei down to her bones.

 

* * *

 

There’s a quiet serenity in the shrine that reminds her of the sweet haze between sleep and awakening, except the clarity of her thoughts has never been clearer.

“Ah, Rei-chan! You’re going to sweep straight through the path and into the ground,” Grandfather laughs, a deep belly laugh that rises somewhere from the bottom of his feet and ruffles his thick mustache.

Rei gives him a small smile. “I finished my chores for the day.”

“Well…” Grandfather muses, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “I suppose we could get started on some of the basic prayers…”

Rei holds her breath, fingers bunched up in the thick cloth of her hakama.

“My knees haven’t been what they used to but a few hours in seiza shouldn’t be so bad,” he mutters as he rubs his hip. He extends his other hand out to her, almost absently. “Come along then, I’ll show you to the rooms in the back.”

Rei stares down at his thick brown fingers, knobbly and round at the joints. Deep wrinkles crisscross the broad expanse of his palm, forming little rivers and valleys in the folds of his skin.

“Rei-chan?” Grandfather says, his voice almost too gentle. It hurts almost just as bad as Matsuko-san’s frosty disapproval.

“I could hurt you.”

His hand shakes a little, but doesn’t draw back.

“Tell me what happened,” he says, quiet. “Tell me the truth, Rei.”

“The first time,” Rei says, looking down at the ground, at his hand, at anything but his eyes. “The first time, there was a girl. She and all the other girls drew in a circle around me and started calling me names. They made fun of my eyes and the necklace Mama gave me. I got so mad--”

Rei swallows hard, her throat sandpaper dry.

“I grabbed her arm.”

Grandfather doesn’t say anything, only listens.

“It grew hot, like all the fire inside me was running through my arm. I let go when she started screaming.”

“And the second?” Grandfather asks.

“He kept grabbing at my hair and said he was going to cut it all off.” Rei’s arm jerks up to her head in half-remembered motion. “No one was paying any attention or if they were, they were pretending not to. Then he grabbed a pair of scissors, so I grabbed at his arm to stop him and then-- and then--”

“Oh, my dear child.” Grandfather gathers her up in his arms and presses her close. Rei stiffens for half a second before relaxing into the embrace, burying her head in his shoulder. He smells of incense and pine-needles, of smoke and mountain air.

“My dear, dear girl.” He releases her after a long moment, stepping back and looking up at her with damp eyes.

“Am I mad?”

“Mad--?” Grandfather snorts and he grips her arms tight. “No, Rei-chan, not mad. Not mad at all. What you have is a gift.”

Rei turns her hand over and looks at her winter-pale fingertips. “It doesn’t seem like much of one at all.”

“Fire burns away corruption and purifies,” Grandfather says gravely. “You are one of the most spiritually talented people that I have seen in many years, my dear.”

She thinks of Rinko’s broken glass scream, of the smell of human fat and hair burning, of Father’s half-shadowed face in the doorway as the car drove away, growing smaller and smaller until it disappeared, swallowed by darkness.

The sharp edges of the memories cut deep into the tender flesh of her heart, a constant burning ache that throbs in counterpoint to the flame deep inside her.

“But _why_ ,” Rei whispers, feeling as if the fire is devouring her alive.

Grandfather grabs her hand tight, calluses rasping against her skin. “It is enough that you exist as you are, Rei-chan. Everything else can come later.”

Rei clasps her other hand around his, brown skin stark against white. There is love enough in lies and she bows her head, tasting ash.


End file.
